Volume 1 of "Beutiful Stories for Ugly Children" which was apparently actually published. Weird, wild, f'd up stuff here. Note: If you have some odd fear fo clowns, you may want to skip this one.
posted by DC Otter at 1:16 PM

More stumbling around the net brought me here. Being that I'm a bit of a sucker for bearish-type guys (heh, yeah; just a bit), I had to look around Robin's works. (Arlington, VA? Really?)
posted by DC Otter at 12:33 PM

TVF is a marketing group in the UK. The above link contains some video clips of ads they've produced. (I think my fave is Elevator.)
posted by DC Otter at 12:27 PM

I stumbled across a link to Fotolog.net a few days ago and have been digging through the site with some unexpected surprises. (Fotolog is essentially blogging pictures and images; pretty cool.) One of the more entertaining logs is Natalie's.

From the description: Natalie was introduced to us at a thrift store in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. A series of photo albums were found, containing the lifetime-collection of photographs documenting 1 woman and her friends, her dog, her series of boyfriends.
posted by DC Otter at 12:18 PM

Or, "How I learned to start worrying and looking for bombs." Really, do the authors of these Flash games really have anything else to do? I mean, I can't concentrate when I know there's a television with 150+ channels begging to be watched.
posted by DC Otter at 6:25 PM

Not sure if you should quit your job and join the Merchant Marines? Dump your current mate or simply cheat on them? Should you wear the blue or the brown slacks? You now have a confidant.

(Yes, I stole this link from Mr. Sorenson's site -- see previous entry.)
posted by DC Otter at 9:09 PM

Oh wow! This is just so totally off the wall that I can't imagine what twisted little mind gave birth to this site. (Apparently it's one Neil Sorenson right here in the burb otherwise known as Alexandria.) Aside from the groovy use of old mail order catalogs, check out this guy's resume. Outrageous!
posted by DC Otter at 9:01 PM

I'm sorry. Really. But I got caught up on this 'net stream-of-consciousness thing looking for non-dialog (or at least unintelligible speech) as part of a comedic exercise. Let's just say there's lots of stuff out there. One prime example is this clip from the Muppet Show. (Sorry about forcing this into your head for the next week or so.) Another is this bit of Flash fun depicting the physical humor of a poorly drawn alien race.

But I'm ultimately disappointed that I couldn't find any clips of Prometheus and Bob. Guess I'll have dig around and see if they've been released on DVD or something.
posted by DC Otter at 7:58 PM

I don't know how much of a computer weenie you were, but this was one of my primary time-wasters in college and here it is redone in Java. Pretty wicked cool! Ah, the fond memories of my Amiga 2000, calling up all of the local BBSs and pissing off the rest of the little nerds. Almost brings a tear to my eye.
posted by DC Otter at 12:50 PM

I really don't understand why Bush is so up tight about releasing these photos to the media. I'm sure he'd get more support from everyone. Even the French!
posted by DC Otter at 2:42 PM

I can't believe I didn't end up posting this earlier and, of course, now everyone's probably seen the video for Soccer Practice. But it's still a riot. What can I say? Jonny McGovern is a master of exploitation in the underground entertainment biz.
posted by DC Otter at 2:39 PM

The question has been posed many times; most specifically in response to leather/levi bars that have no dance floors: Do bears dance? Apparently if it includes balloons, He-Man action figures and Donald Rumsfeld with an Ace of Base soundtrack, the answer is yes.
posted by DC Otter at 2:30 PM

Of course I know it's not nice to make fun of someone for butchering the english language. Even more so when you're in a foreign land and the attempt has been made to make life easier for you, the tourist. But for a few minutes (until it gets boring) this site is quite fun. Makes reading the manual for a replacement motherboard seem almost cohesive.
posted by DC Otter at 11:27 AM

I don't know about you, but there just doesn't seem to be enough incentive to hang out in the loo beyond the normal duties. Until now! Drop one of these little guys in the urinal and let the fun begin! See the site for "championship rules" as well as all the accessories you could want (including the Scrot, groin and shoe guards and Peeball tongs!).
posted by DC Otter at 11:20 AM

It's Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. From the official website:

"The Second Coming is upon us, and Jesus has returned to earth. But before he can get down to the serious business of judging the living and the dead, he has to contend with an army of vampires that can walk in the daylight."

Sounds like some good film making to me! Frames, sound bites and a little vidoe are on the official site as well as this review site. And, if you're in the DC area in mid October, catch a showing at Reel Affirmations, the GLBT film fest.
posted by DC Otter at 3:58 PM

Is this what happens when you live in Wisconsin for too long? Sure, it gets cold up there and everybody's sick of eating, sleeping and breathing cheese. But I still don't think that's a good excuse. (But they are kinda cute, don't 'cha think?)
posted by DC Otter at 12:59 PM

So I'm a little late with this. Yes, we all know The King and if you've ever been near Vegas, you know that there are far too many wanna-be's. Now this guy has definitely taken things to a new low. (This picture really doesn't need all 1000 of those words.) He's apparently quite a disturbing phenomenon within the true Elvis followers and there's hate mail to prove it.
posted by DC Otter at 1:20 PM

Yo-yo bi-ach! Check out this ride! It's probably the ultimate in toilet humor. I'm quite jealous that I've never thought of doing this in my guest bath. Perhaps some remodeling is necessary.
posted by DC Otter at 10:29 AM

"Find out what men of God do when they loosen their collars."

Yes, this is another example of truely beating the Catholic Church when it's down. I'd feel bad about it, but.... Well, no I gues I wouldn't, would I.
posted by DC Otter at 10:28 AM

I have no idea what that means, but obviously Mr. Bling does!

Having trouble finding gold caps to complete the look that are expressly you? I think Mr. Bling can help you out with standard (?) and custom caps. Sure he's in California, but that's not gonna be a problem when you get your Starter Kit in the mail.

Now what did I do with that link for discount pimp canes?
posted by DC Otter at 10:27 AM

I have no doubt that this will offend the more socially compassionate viewers. In advance, to them, I appologize for crossing that line. For everyone else, let's have a chuckle at the downside of humanity! The kids at BumHunt.com really have gone to great lenghts to chronicle and classify various vagrants around the country complete with photos and interviews. Quite a task!

What's that? Ah! My one-way ticket to "where evil, curel people go after they die" has just arrived. See ya!
posted by DC Otter at 9:52 AM

Hey, look! Another Shockwave toy! Yes, yes, I know it's got gnomes. And I know you love darts. Try to contain yourself.
posted by DC Otter at 9:39 AM

Curious about the evolution of the traffic cone? Forget what one looks like or not know what to expect in other parts of the world? How has the traffic cone influenced (and been influenced) by popular culture? All of your cone-related queries will, no doubt, be answered here, at the TCPS site.
posted by DC Otter at 11:40 AM

Well, sort of. Just play along, the questionaire is worth it. (One of those "the journey is the best part") kind of sites.
posted by DC Otter at 3:39 PM

Was it really that bad? This is a collection of excerpts from the actual Fall/Winter JCP catalog. And I must admit that I viewed every page in equal parts of amusement, shame and sheer terror.
posted by DC Otter at 3:25 PM

I think I missed the airing of this event. GOD I hate NBC's Olympic coverage! (OK, so it's fart humor. But it's Friday and I was amused.)
posted by DC Otter at 10:29 AM

Something wicker this way comes!

This site is an entertaining little romp; especially the Obscene Interiors sections. These crazy kids have taken it upon themselves to critique the design aspects of photos guys post in their profiles, on their web pages or simply end up in the ether by sheer happenstance. "Clothes might make the man but men rarely make the bed"
posted by DC Otter at 3:49 PM

Damn! And I just find this now! Had I only known, I'd have watched more of the games. During Week One, I was pretty into some of the events (snowboarding and downhill) but after that I think the only thing I tuned in for was short track speed skating; I'll admit, I'm hooked.

On the up side, I did watch a lot of the events (including the horribly covered opening ceremonies) at the bars, so I was almost playing along.
posted by DC Otter at 10:55 AM

Oh how fun. Tired of the the static Suckogram. Granted you can pretty much only tell someone that they suck, but that's usually enough, isn't it? (Flash plugin required, as expected.)
posted by DC Otter at 10:12 AM

Anyway, here's some fun, faggy stuff. Love stop-action film? Have a thing for Lego's? Then check out Rich & Steve -- The Happiest Gay Couple in All the World. I've seen the first episode before (probably on IceBox) but C1TV has decided to host some new ones. Truly entertaining and definitely not what a PC queer will appreciate. It's South Park done in plastic.
posted by DC Otter at 6:58 PM

Still loving Moern Humorist. Sure there are some misses but this Lord of the Rings trailer is quite amusing. I can't wait for the sequels!
posted by DC Otter at 12:45 PM

I don't know where to begin. It's queer. It's leather. It's pretty messed up. It's amusing as hell. Think Tom of Finland for Gen-X or something similar. This is what the internet is really for.
posted by DC Otter at 7:32 PM

Well, the DC Bear Club held their annual Bear Invasion in Washington, DC this past weekend and I was in attendance with my new toy -- Sony Mavica CD300 (love the technology!) -- in tow. Granted I'll never produce any quality photography, I still had fun playing around. With the camera, too!
posted by DC Otter at 12:27 PM

I still enjoy Modern Humorist for a quick, generally well presented bit of humor and sarcasm. The Fright Bites are some of the Halloween bits that they did last year but are just as entertaining this time around.
posted by DC Otter at 4:04 PM

Ok, actually it's Everything2. Have a few hours or days to watse? Give this site a try. User comments, stories, definitions, discussion threads, etc. that are over-linked (and that's a good thing) to other entries on the site with topics ranging from Beast Wars to cybersex to Sensei, we've got another lesbian stuck in the goddamn shreder. Entries, or nodes, are categorized as a person, place,things or ideas as well as definitions. Really odd and bizarre while being a fabulous way to pass the work day.
posted by DC Otter at 10:36 AM

I got a call from a friend asking "Just what is a Choda-Boy?" The obvious answer is he's Orgazmo's sidekick both in porn and crime fighting. (Still confused? Check here.) Further, the slang term 'choda' refers to the fleshy area between the vagina and the anus.

Of coruse this shouldn't be confused with the term 'chode' which is slang referring to the penis. This term was made popular by Beavis and Butthead when Butthead calls Beavis a 'chode smaker' after he shows appreciation for a lame 80's video.

My mind overflows like a clogged toilet.
posted by DC Otter at 6:46 PM

Oh I'm just all tingly with excitement! It appears that FOX networks will be premiering The Tick live-action show Thursday, November 1 at 8:30p. Being a big fan of the animated series, this is very cool.

Of course I'm a bit disappointed that some of the character names have changed: American Maid is now Captain Liberty and Die Fledermaus will be known as Batmanuel. More info (kinda) on the LA version here. (Flash required.)

SPOON!!
posted by DC Otter at 9:27 AM

Oh, this is fun. Takes me back to the early days of the 'net; dialing in to a Unix box, reading my mail in Pine and downloading uuencoded porn from the newsgroups. Of course I don't have to wander too far to find a new place to flame -- thank Dog for Yahoo Groups!

Here's the front page to the Guide to Flaming. May your flames be witty, insulting, interesting, paradoxical, funny, illogical, caustic, sarcastic, even inconsistent - but never,ever, let them be boring. [rule #42]
posted by DC Otter at 1:01 PM

“Optimus…” he moaned as his leader’s tongue worked its way down his neck. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined this sheer pleasure. For as long as he could remember he had longed for this to happen. And now it was.

Does Slash ever stop? An here my parents thought that Transformers were better for me than Barbie and Ken. They never knew.
posted by DC Otter at 6:44 PM

Call it a personal cult following, but I can't seem to pull myself away from Black Starz! whenever a Dolemite flick comes on. Of course when not alone in the house, I frequently have to wrestle for control of the remote.
posted by DC Otter at 6:33 PM

I think the title says it all. (Requires Flash.)
posted by DC Otter at 1:38 PM

I knewthere was a lot of filler in the Connie Chung interview that aired on TV. I'm convinced that this was the original tape; thank god for stock footage.
posted by DC Otter at 1:25 PM

While the fad has burnt out quicker than a bar match on a windy day, it is now part of our history. Remember the good times as all your base are belong to us.
posted by DC Otter at 1:16 PM

I know this would never get government funding in the US (as long as Helms has anything to do with it). What exactly is this show? Two guys making origami with their naught bits. ("Dick Trick of the Month" at the bottom of the page.) It's a stage show that is now making its round in the UK and Canada. Here is the troupe's (two guys with enowments that are apparently lengthy enough to do this stuff) main page for info and locations of the show.
posted by DC Otter at 1:02 PM

Perhaps I'm a hypocondriac, but I think I may suffer from many of the conditions listed; eurotophobia comes to mind. Though I'm sure they don't include pogonophobia, methyphobia or genophobia.
posted by DC Otter at 12:53 PM

In an attempt to find something other than reruns and game show hosts from Liverpool, I found myself watching a documentary American Pimp on TMC. Yes, a behind the scenes look at pimping and the ho's that bring in the green. With the right mindset, you too can move from being merely a Play-ah to full blown Pimp status and the platform shoes, Rolls Royce and groovy headwear that goes with it. My bitch... er, husbear was a visibly distraught that he too was enjoying it.

The film was originally in limited theater distribution in June of last year. The link above contains further links to view the trailer.
posted by DC Otter at 11:16 AM

Hey, anime freaks! Have a hankering to see Japanese cities destroyed one more time? Sputnik7 has quite a sizable collection of shorts and features available in streaming format (WinMedia and RealPlayer). You have to create yet another user account but it's free and doesn't ask for a whole lot of info.

A nice diversion from the tedium that is Wednsday, no?
posted by DC Otter at 11:11 AM

I guess the US Mint threw out these designs for for their State Quaters program. Too bad 'cuase I kinda like the Bitch Set Me Up one for Washington, DC. (Yes, I know it's not a state. And that we're not getting a quarter. And the whole taxation without representation thing. Sheesh!)
posted by DC Otter at 2:40 PM

Apparently being a good little doobie doesn't fly with the FBI in internet cases. The accused, Brian K. West, was doing his job in sales and support for his company, and ISP. He stumbled across an incorrectly configured web server (no login required for modifying files on the server), contacted the site owner who in turn contacted his hosting company. Jump forward a few weeks and poor Bri is being questioned by the FBI. Jump to the present and they (the FBI) want him to accept a felony conviction and 5 year probation and he hasn't been charged with a crime! WTF? Talk about having blinders on. Watch the FBI screw the pooch yet again.
posted by DC Otter at 2:02 PM

"Do you want HOT Amish 1 on 1 action with a REAL Amishian??? We have Chicks with Sticks and Hot Butter Churning action!!!"

Now doesn't that just say it all?
posted by DC Otter at 4:19 PM

Yet again, someone's going to Hell for creating this site. An amusing thought -- at the next church picnic seeing the various colors flagged. OK, now I'm going to Hell too. (Like I wasn't before?)
posted by DC Otter at 11:55 PM

What a wonderful spoof! Ok, so it hits home a little. Ok, a lot. Too much time spent in the Helpdesk Industry in the early years of the career I guess.

"We NEVER tell you to do something. We NEVER expect you to figure it out. It's no surprise that "Just Do It For Them" is one of the mantras at Silicon Pines."
posted by DC Otter at 4:00 PM

I guess no toys in Cambodia. Looks like the first attempt to get some quality strap-ons into the hands (among other other places) of the general public has fallen flat on its butt. Read the Reuters article here.
posted by DC Otter at 1:08 PM

Need a vacation from work but don't have any PTO left? Maybe this site can help. Simply follow the directions and soon you'll be on you way to such an abundance of medical leave, you'll have to schedule another european cruise!
posted by DC Otter at 2:42 PM

Yes, yes, yes. I haven't added anything to this in a while. SOR-REE!

But, this definitely warranted a post... If you caught last Sundays Sex and the City episode, one of the storylines revolved around the use of prosthetic perky nipples for huntin' men. And apparently you can buy them online. Cha-ching!
posted by DC Otter at 2:32 PM

Ok, it's been forever since I've posted anything to this thing. (I'm so ashamed...) So here's a an attempt to get back into the swing of things.
posted by DC Otter at 3:59 PM

How have I made it through these 31 years without the use of the Sneaky Leaker?!! "The latest in Self Relief Urological Technology" allows one (presumable male as to how the products is attached) to descretely relieve the building pressure associated with bladder overflow as a result of heightened beverage intake. Use it at sporting events, bars with skanky bathrooms, on road trips, in movie theaters and more!
posted by DC Otter at 10:48 AM

Yes, I've heard the stories of the Brigham Young University's Honor Code that identifies so much of the students' lives while enrolled. Yes, I know it's LDS and I am moderately aware of the Morman views on the 'evils' around us every day. I guess I just haven't been that wrapped up in religion (by any definition) to be scrutinized at every corner I turn.

The rules on residences are amusing yet scary (I'd have to shave my beard!). Apparently if I have to use the facilities while at a guest's off-campus house (of the opposite sex, mind you) I must verify that everyone has their appropriate privacy during 'the deed.' If I'm in one of the residence halls, I'll have to trek down to find the nearest lavatory designated for my gender. Of course this shouldn't be an issue as the room's door must be open at all times during my visit, so that'll save some time.

After reading the section regarding how to Live a Chaste and Virtuous Life I'm sure I wouldn't have made it very long at this school. Of all of the examples of inappropriateness listed, I think the only one I wouldn't be a poster child for is cross-dressing.

But, to each his own, I suppose. Of course when the hunt begins for the Honor Police, I start to doubt that statement.
posted by DC Otter at 5:10 PM

Gosh, with all of this talk from FotF, Exodus and the like, may be I could be straight. But alas, in the back of my mind I think I would still have a longing for the naughty bits and dirty bits of a male companion. Sigh.

Anyway, the link above is to a letter from one Mike Haley, a spokesperson for FotF and "former gay man [...] and expert on homosexuality" to Jon Kinnally, Executive Story Editor for Will & Grace. The initial letter isn't too threatening (standard tripe that usually comes from the group) but the response from NBC is the kicker.
posted by DC Otter at 3:31 PM

While I'm really not a fan of Headhunter.net (not to mention so many of the other online resume-blasting services) this is a fairly amusing listing for a position with the Justice League of America. I'd apply, but I don't have a cool name or a decent costume that fits anymore.
posted by DC Otter at 3:06 PM

While working at NASA (Goddard) early in my career, I was dumfounded by the overuse of acronyms. The primary reference was the TLA Dictionary, a handy little book that someone had created and maintained listing all of the acronyms that were used as well as the 'new' ones made for specific projects. Of course it started out only listing the three letter acronyms (the TLA in the title) but had to be expanded.

Now you can create your own acronyms without all the work with AIEEE (Acronym Interaction, Expansion and Extrapolation Engine) and look really smart at work too.
posted by DC Otter at 9:30 AM

Remember all of those SciFi movies and shows with awful acronyms for the cybernetic/artificial intellence-based characters? Ever wish you could have a cool name based on your designed function? You may already have one!

D.C.O.T.T.E.R.: Digital Cybernetic Organism Trained for Troubleshooting and Efficient Repair
posted by DC Otter at 9:22 AM

A random find that kept my attention for a few minutes. I don't know who Ze is but his work is pretty darn cool. Here's another link to some odd dance thing.
posted by DC Otter at 12:49 PM

If I were a cartoonist, this is the kind of stuff that I'd be capable of -- specifically the artwork. And of course, we are encouraged to laugh at the almost-politically-incorrect jokes. My kind of site! (The pictures are quite amusing and while I haven't gone through all of them, this is my fave.
posted by DC Otter at 10:59 AM

You may have heard about it as a news-bite just before the 11 o'clock media blitz signed off or maybe from Howard Stern or even in the latest issues of Yahoo! magazine. Regardless, Naked News is the real thing. It was brought up during lunch at work yesterday and of course we all had to excuse ourselves and run back to our offices to check it out. Yup. Striptease done to national and world news, sports and technology updates as well as entertainment and health segments. Surprisingly, the strippers ... umm er... newscasters actually sound like they know what they're talking about.

Unfortunately, it's all boobs and bush. Yeah, I'm still looking for "gaynakednews.com".
posted by DC Otter at 11:47 AM

Ever have the need/burning desire to say something to someone but didn't have the nerve to do so? Perhaps you can't stand going to work in the morning specifically because one of your coworkers smells like he's been marinating in soured milk every single day? Or you've noticed that the boss' new male executive assistant (hmmm... now we know for sure about boss-man) has a 'basket' that keeps you running to and from the fax machine just to sneak another glimpse. Can't find anyone that you trust to inform the other party? JaT provides a simple, descrete, no-nonsense means of doing so.

(The passive-aggressive side of me loves this.)
posted by DC Otter at 9:18 AM

This has to be one of the more original ideas for a web site that I've seen in a long time. Eric, our host, takes requests from the audience and then snaps a picture of himself portraying the emotion. Genius! And actually pretty good.

(Of course I never feel very creative so I'm always impressed with stuff like this.)
posted by DC Otter at 3:24 PM

I have to agree with the author's initial statement: "Are music composers and artists selling out, or buyng in?" For right now, who cares. This page has a fairly decent list of current commercials and, more importantly, the decent music that is used (overused?).

I guess I find it amusing that there are a growing number of CR/PR firms using tracks that are catchy and get the initial attention on the TV, but have videos that are, well, notably less than what the corporate execs would want to represent their products and business. Example: Mitsubishi's ad for the 2000 Eclipse Spyder takes from Groove Armada's I See You Baby. The video depicts a peeping tom security guard that has placed web cams in the bathrooms of a nightclub to spy on the patrons. Yup. I'm sold!
posted by DC Otter at 12:42 PM

Ya know? I don't even own anything that's all black. Well, except for the leather jacket and a few T-shirts. But it's far from a Gothfashion statement for me. Thankfully, the Goth-O-Matic(tm) Poetry Generator takes all the angst, bitterness and personal turmoil out of creating hauntingly authentic yet totally depressing prose. Kinda like Goth-lite. Oh so tragic. Oh so entertaining.
posted by DC Otter at 12:29 PM

I don't understand, but I like it! This Shockwave thing has been floating around recently and apparently the images have been around even longer. The initial graphics and 'speech' is based on an old game port (for Japanese to English) and the rest is... well.... I don't know what it is.

And if you really like it, go here and grab some unofficial merchandise.
posted by DC Otter at 11:26 AM

Is a comment really necessary?
posted by DC Otter at 10:45 AM

See? Hanging out in bars is a good thing! I've heard these guys recently and seen one of their videos (Start Rockin') and realized that I should do a little more research. Glad I did. Their latest album, Fastlane People, was released in January 2000 but I sure can't find it in my local Tower. Which sucks. I guess I'll end up spending the $20 or so for the import, though I loathe doing so. (Not due to the band, more because of the unnecessary markup. Bah!)
posted by DC Otter at 8:04 AM

Wow. Impressed over here. No, I don't do any coding. Well, as little as possible anyway. That teamed with my lack of creativity makes me say "Wow" to this groovy-cool Flash thing with music by the Chemical Brothers (another big plus).
posted by DC Otter at 4:02 PM

"Each day it is estimated that as many as twenty pictures of young cats go up on the Internet without their knowledge or consent. [...] Where does free speech end and compassion begin?"
posted by DC Otter at 3:45 PM

I just love the porn spoofs. Granted, the authors have a bit too much time to themselves, but guys, rest assured; I'm entertained for a full 2 minutes!

Under penalty of perjury, I swear I am not caviar
posted by DC Otter at 3:41 PM

Again... God bless the 'net. Reading this takes me back to the college days when getting Shotgun was oh so choice; especially when riding in a compact (or heaven for bid, a sub-compact) car with absolutely no leg room in the back seat or being forced to sit behind a driver with long legs.
posted by DC Otter at 3:32 PM

I just knew there had to be a Slash series involving Captain Janeway and Seven of Nine.

Wht is Slash? Well, it falls in the realm of star fandom in the form of romantic, generally sexual fiction where several of the characters of a television show or movie are intimately involved. "The colorful term, "slash," refers to the convention of employing a stroke or "slash" to signify a same-sex relationship between two characters (Kirk/Spock or K/S) and specifies a genre of fan stories positing homoerotic affairs between series protagonists". [source] Not that that's a bad thing. Here's a bunch more.
posted by DC Otter at 5:14 PM

Remeber the The Hitchiker's Guide and Zork Trillogy (and Beyond Zork and... and...)? Oh, how I wasted hours typing in inane actions and going through reams of graph paper mapping my progress. Of course I never really got into the RPG thing, but I'd go through periods of hacking away at such silly stuff.

Here's the religiously incorrect version for those of you playing at home.
posted by DC Otter at 4:52 PM

Finally! A tribute to the 'evil' Star Trek crew!
posted by DC Otter at 3:43 PM

Mullets. Also referred to as a Schlong. It’s that hair style commonly seen in remote locations outside of urban areas, at such vacation spots as Mertyl Beach, SC and on women’s fast-pitch softball fields. Short and spiky in the front, on top and on the sides, long flowing locks down the back of the head resting on the shoulders or further, if you’re lucky. (“Business up front; party in the back!”) I guess the style is what’s left of the ‘rat tail’ craze in the early ‘80s. (There area several photos of DCOtter sporting a Schlong however they are hidden away in a box of items marked “Open only when I have been confirmed dead for at least 90 days.”)

The above link is to a web site dedicated to this one hair style; in-depth descriptions, classification, interaction with (mating rituals, etc.) and “The Mullet Hunt.”
posted by DC Otter at 3:57 PM

More on the continuing saga...

Muller was released from by the MPD. Big shock. But wait. There's more! The story of the victim (a male minor) reads as follows: "The boy was in the restroom checking his contact lens when he saw Muller enter, according to the affidavit written by Detective Dan A. Lewis. The youth noticed Muller looking at him in the restroom mirror and smiling, the affidavit said. It said the boy then went to a urinal and Muller, who was at the adjacent urinal, reached over with his right hand and grabbed the boy's genitals." Yup. That sounds like a perv.

Moving on... "Muller was later interviewed by police. 'He admits being on the scene and that an incident occurred in the restroom, but he states that the circumstances were different.'" Uh-huh. So, you didn't grab his nuts, just his pee-pee? Oh, that's completely different then.

And the final tidbit: "Muller, who is single and has no children ..." Alright, just admit that you're queer, have a thing for chicken and get it over with already. Sheesh!
posted by DC Otter at 10:38 AM

Hi. My name is Pat and I'm an "HBO Original Series" addict.

As the title indicates, this is a spoof on HBOs Sex and the City series characterizing all of the trivia of the queer subculture of beardom. The site is quite witty with a writing style paralleling the SatC scripts. This week’s episode is a bit of a diversion from the usual story lines, focusing on putting a bunch of bears on an island to 'survive' the cutthroat nature of the sect. We've got the four regulars, a bona fide A-list bear, a porn star, a Gordon Peterson (of BML fame) type character and the cute-but-unnoticed bear. Fun and sexual proclivities ensue. Previous stories address such bear-centric issues as crabs, gettin' busy on the first date, bear drag and dealing with that cutie that has a husbear attached.

For other fun stuff, also check out The Bear Handbook -- everything you need to know to understand the facets of the bear community.
posted by DC Otter at 11:45 AM

Why does this always seem to happen? Someone jumps (or fights their way) into the media spotlight claiming some holier-than-thou righteous bull shit and within a few months get slammed for actions or statements far lower on the list of social acceptance than what they were initially noted for. In other words, what's up with all this hypocracy?!

The offender, one Alfred Muller, Mayor of Friendship Heights, MD, is the guy that passed legislation for his little realm in the close-in NW burbs of DC to make it illegal ($100 fine per infraction) to smoke a cigarette on public property. Again, another news bite that made its way to Leno, Dave and Conan. So now he's been charged with fondling a 12 year old boy within the last week. Mr. Muller has already surrendered to the authorities which kinda makes him look incredibly guilty right now.

White gloves hide dirty hands.
posted by DC Otter at 9:06 AM

This article has made a few news-bite appearances of the last week or so. Apparently VA Senator Leslie L. Byrne has proposed a bill to limit the usage of certain rooms in one's house (specifically dining rooms and living rooms) to the purpose in which they are intended -- eating and watching the tube, respectively. Of course this is an example of knee-jerk, whip-lash legislation intended to prevent the residents from moving 10 of their "cousins" into the two BR townhouse they're renting in Fairfax.

"[Byrne] said communities from Annandale to Herndon are turning into 'instant slums.'" Of course if the cohabitants of the dwelling claim to be related (no matter how distant the connection), they are, under the law, allowed to cram themselves into a studio appartment. Regardless, the short sightedness of the proposal is depressingly amusing.

With all it's problems and embarrasments, I'm still glad I live in DC.
posted by DC Otter at 9:26 AM

Nope. Not a new game. Well, unless you consider trying to keep nudie pics out of your corporate e-mail system a game. I guess it's somewhat disturbing that a company has focused a product on search-and-destroy algorithms for picking out pornography from your e-mail. Of course with a world full of prudes, I'm sure their sales figures justify the effort. If I weren't in the technology/security field (where I could be forced to implement such annoying software) I'd be thinking, "Gosh. If I can't get my porn fix at work, where can I download those pix without the fear of my partner/husband/wife finding them?"

Regardless, I still like the name.
posted by DC Otter at 2:24 PM

Just love the morning mail! Yes, there's the usual round of late-evening spam that floats in, but I can usually count on something at lease mildly entertaining. PPP.com is just what you're afraid it is -- personal ads from prisoners. Yes, some other geek beat me to it. With prices ranging from $20 to $80 per year, the boys (and girls) behind bars can search for companionship (?) with those on the outside. Our felons... er... suitors have various backgrounds ranging from homicide to drugs to conspiracy. Such an eclectic bunch!

I will admit, I think the entertainment factor of this site has something to do with watching a few too many seasons of HBO’s OZ. (Hmmm… Maybe my prison fantasy can come true after all?)
posted by DC Otter at 9:50 AM

I've heard about this service for, well, a while now and thought it might be a nice change for me. Now, instead of writing everything on Post-it(tm) notes, stuffing them in my pocket and running them through the washer every week, I may be able to keep track of some of the 'interesting' things I find. I suppose we'll see...
posted by DC Otter at 8:42 PM